A Birthday in a Million
by christibabe
Summary: A story to celebrate Stephanie's birthday. Stephanie is with Ranger and Joe is mentioned but not harmed. Stephanie wakes up feeling like this is just another day. She goes after skips and has surpriseing results with Lula by her side. Story is complete as is.


**Disclaimer: The characters you recognize as J.E. are hers. **

_**Spoiler: Might use anything from 1-18.**_

A Birthday in a Million

Today was just like any other day. I woke up at 8 a.m. thanks to Ranger setting the alarm. I rolled my eyes. I only slept in till 10 that one time but ever since Ranger had taken to setting the alarm at 8 before he headed down to the gym each morning. I shuffled into the bathroom and answered natures call. I stripped down and stepped into the shower. It didn't take long to shower and get dressed and I was putting the finishing touches of my makeup on when my phone rang. I fished it out of my purse and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey white girl? What's crackin'?"

I smiled at Lula's greeting and replied, "Not much. Just another day. How about you?"

"Just another day. Where's that bus goin'?"

I had to shake my head at Lula. "I'm headed over to the Bonds office. I thought I'd see if Connie has any files for me."

"You're working today?"

"Well yeah."

"Okay, I'll be waiting for you at the Bonds office."

"I'll be there in a few."

I replaced my phone in my purse and headed for the elevator. I pressed the button for the garage and in no time I was sliding into the driver's seat of the Cayenne. I made a stop at the Tasty Pastry and got a couple dozen donuts before heading to the Bonds office. When I walked into the office Connie was busy typing and Lula was looking through a magazine. The second I entered the office Lula was on top of the box in my hands carrying it over to the coffee table where she was sitting. She had one donut gone and two bites of another before I made it over to grab the Boston Cream.

I took a bite of my donut before asking Connie, "You have any skips for me?"

Connie didn't take her eyes off her computer as she continued typing, "On the corner of the desk there I have 5 skips for you. They're a bit feisty this time though."

I grabbed the files and looked through them. A _little_ feisty? Well, a girl had to pay her bills. I looked over at Lula and asked, "You riding with me?"

"You betcha!"

We headed out to the Cayenne with the files in my hand. I opened the top one and looked over the possible locations to find this guy and then I headed for his apartment house on Olden. We arrived sooner than planned and I figured we might as well get going. I turned to Lula and said, "You take the front and I'll take the back. All you need to do is knock and say Bond Enforcement. That's it. I'm betting he'll come out the back and I'll be there waiting for him."

Lula made a face, "Don't I eve getta shoot my gun?"

"No! No shooting the gun."

"Alright but that sure is a lame ass way to get a skip."

I rolled my eyes and headed for the back door. I heard Lula knock on the front door and say, "Bond Enforcement."

Seconds later there were sounds of the skip making his way to the back door. I slipped to the side so the skip wouldn't see me until he was already out of the door and the door closed. Sure enough, this guy came barreling out the back and he didn't bother to look back. He was in jeans and a gray t-shirt, no shoes or socks. He went to take off and tripped falling flat on his face. Not looking a gift horse in the mouth, I quickly got on top of the guy and slapped the handcuffs on him. I had just gotten the cuffs on when I heard the unmistakable ratchet of a sawed off shotgun. I froze.

Before I could do anything the guy holding the shotgun dropped the gun and put his hands up in the air. He was shaking like he was detoxing. I stood and hauled my skip up and about that time Lula came running around the back. She came to a sudden stop seeing the second guy standing beside me with his hands in the air. "You got your handcuffs on you Lula?"

"A course I do."

I motioned with my head, "Want to handcuff this guy. Not sure what we can take him in on but he pulled the shotgun on me. Of course he also mysteriously dropped it for some reason."

Lula grinned, "Oh yeah. I'll handcuff this slime bucket." She slapped the cuffs on the second guy and we headed for the Cayenne.

When we pulled up to the police station I told Lula she'd have to get out of the Cayenne. She groused but did. I made sure the Cayenne was locked when I took the two into the docket lieutenant. To say the cops at the station were surprised to see me walking in with two in custody and not a scrap of garbage anywhere in sight would be putting it mildly. I handed over my paperwork and told them why I brought the second guy in. Robin Russell looked at the second guy kinda funny and stepped into the back. She came back with a huge smile and another body receipt.

"You'll want to take that second receipt to the FBI. He's on their most wanted list."

My eyes widened, "What's he wanted for?"

Robin smiled, "He's a suspected serial killer. The reward for his capture is quite high."

Something didn't seem right about this. I decided to look into it later and I took the receipts and sent a finger wave as I headed back out to the Cayenne. It was all I could do to control the laughter as I saw Lula trying to get into the Cayenne. Carl and Big Dog were a few steps away asking if they could help her and she was telling them, "No! Get back! You come any closer and I'm gonna get the runs. You don't want to see me with the runs. It ain't pretty."

I hit the unlock button and Lula's eyes widened and she quickly opened the door and dived into the Cayenne. She saw me and she said, "Come on white girl. You gotta get me out of here!"

I slid into the driver's seat and sent a wave to Carl and Big Dog as we pulled out of the parking lot. I had Lula give me the address on the second file and in no time we were on our way to pick up another skip. When we pulled up to the address Lula and I looked at each other and shuddered. Neither one of us liked the look of this place. It was the perfect choice for a haunted house.

I gave a sigh and went to open the door to climb out when the front door opened and a big, mountain of a man came running out the front door and stopped beside the back door. He looked nervously back to the house and asked, "You gonna let me in or what?"

I climbed out and he held his hands out for me to cuff and I helped him into the back seat. I shook my head as we headed back towards the cop shop. We hadn't gone very far when Lula said, "Hey. Hold up. This next skip is just a block away."

I headed to the next address and Lula took the back this time and I took the front. She knocked on the door saying, "Bond Enforcement." and seconds later the skip was coming out the front door. I was expecting him to run but he looked a little pale. He smiled at me and held out his hands.

I gave him a narrow-eyed look and about that time Lula came around from the back and handed me her handcuffs. I cuffed the skip and asked, "What's going on?"

He shook his head, "Don't know what you talking about. I'm just glad to get outta this dump and back to jail."

I led him to the Cayenne and loaded him in the back. Three skips and it wasn't even lunch time yet. Something was definitely hinkie in Trenton. We made another trip to the cop shop. Not willing to take any chances on the Cayenne disappearing, I dropped Lula off at a coffee shop around the corner from the police station and took the two skips in on foot.

Morelli happened to be at the desk talking to Robin when I entered. I sent him a finger wave and he sent me a sexy grin. I rolled my eyes and waited for Robin to hand me my body receipts. Morelli wrapped his arm around my shoulder and asked how my day was. I gave him a funny look but just shrugged and said like any other day. He had a puzzled expression on his face as I left the station and headed back to the coffee shop to pick up Lula.

Once I got Lula we headed to the local FBI office to cash in my body receipt. When I was handed the check I didn't bother to check it before putting it in my purse and then we headed to the Bonds office to collect my check for the other two guys. I swung by the bank and deposited the checks, not bothering to see what the total was on the receipt. I turned to Lula and asked if she wanted to get a bite to eat. Lula's eyes lit up as she said, "I'm always up for a meal."

We headed for Cluck-in-a-Bucket. I parked and we headed inside. I got a Mr. Clucky Meal and Lula went all out and got a bucket meal for two. We took our food and headed over to a booth. By the time I ate my meal; Lula had managed to eat all her food plus had gone back up for dessert. I sipped the last of my coke and we were headed to throw our trash away when who should we run into but Joyce Barnhardt. I looked at Lula and she had a deer in headlights look to her. Joyce took one look at us and screamed. Her face turned white as a ghost and she went screaming out into the parking lot, got in her car and raced away.

Lula looked at me and I looked at Lula. What the hell? Lula shrugged and said, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

I nodded and we headed to the Cayenne. I grabbed the top file and opened it to see where we needed to go. I groaned. Lula frowned asking, "What's got your panties in a twist?"

"You remember when Ranger's Porsche bit the dust and the garbage truck landed on it?"

"Well yeah."

"Our next skip works for the garbage company."

"Oh boy!"

We pulled into the lot for the garbage company and got out to head into the office. A sound from behind us had us stopping in our tracks and turning around. There coming directly at us was a huge garbage truck loaded with garbage. I recognized the man in the driver's seat and he didn't look like he intended stopping. Lula and I ran towards the building and stepped inside but the truck kept coming. Lula looked to me and asked, "You don't think he'll keep goin' do you?"

We had our answer as the truck jumped the curb and drove into the front of the building. Lula and I ran towards the back of the building with Lula screaming, "The truck's gone loco! Run for your lives!"

The people in the office were running with us. We reached a spot where there was nowhere left to run and we were all caught at the back wall of the building. Lula and I tried to make ourselves as small as we could. We both breathed a sigh of relief as the truck stopped a centimeter from Lula. For a moment I thought the driver had stopped but that proved to be untrue. Seems the truck itself stopped and the driver was rendered unconscious and no one had a clue how it happened. The driver was the man I was here to pick up. I cuffed him and called in reinforcements. In no time Carl and Big Dog were there and they took the skip in custody and handed me a body receipt.

We had one final skip to get. I opened the last file and smiled. Lula saw the look and said, "This must be a good one for you to be smiling."

"I'm relieved. It's Mooner."

Lula grinned, "Oh yeah. This must be your lucky day."

We headed for Mooner's and when he let us in he said he'd be happy to go with us as soon as his marathon was over. Apparently we were going to get to watch I Love Lucy all afternoon. I was okay with that. I'm not sure how long we'd been there when my eyes drifted shut. I suddenly found myself in a candy factory with Lula and Lula had to coat the candy and I had to wrap it before sending it on. The belt started moving faster and suddenly Lula was stuffing candy in her mouth and I was stuffing candy in my mouth. Without warning Ranger walked in and told us that stuff would kill us. The next thing I knew Ranger was covered in chocolate and Lula was licking her lips. I stepped between her and Ranger and said, "Back off and find your own fella. This one is taken."

Lula glared, "Oh yeah?"

I narrowed my eyes and said, "Yeah!"

I felt someone shaking me and calling my name. I blinked and opened my eyes to see Lula shaking me. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to wake your ass up so we can get going. Mooner finally got done watchin' Lucy and I can't take another episode so we gotta go now."

I yawned and stretched before standing and heading towards the door with Mooner and Lula. We were almost at the door when I smelled something funny. I looked around and asked, "You guys smell that?"

Lula sniffed, "Smells like cardboard burning."

Mooner's eyes widened and he cried, "My pizza! I forgot…"

I saw flames shoot out of the oven and I pushed Mooner and Lula out of the door and hurried after them. We ran for the Cayenne trying to put as much distance from us and the building as possible. We had nearly reached our destination when the whole building went up in flames. Mooner's stove came flying through the air and landed on the roof of the Cayenne causing us to change direction and head across the road to safety. The fire trucks and police cars were there in no time, as well as a black SUV pulling up to us with Tank and Ranger in the front seat. Ranger cut his eyes to me and gave the almost grin. I sighed and opened the back door to let Mooner in before climbing in myself. Lula got in on the other side and we took off. Ranger drove us to the cop shop and I ran Mooner inside and came back out with my last body receipt.

We headed for the Bonds office and let Lula out. She said she'd see me later and I sent her a finger wave. Ranger drove us back to Rangeman and I headed up to 7 in the elevator. It was nearly 4 p.m. and I went in and showered, making sure to shampoo my hair as well. I was so tired when I got done I lay on the bed in my thinking position and fell asleep. I was gently woken sometime later and opened my eyes to find Ranger sitting beside me.

He gently ran a finger down my cheek and said, "I made dinner reservations for us at Pino's Babe."

My stomach growled and we both laughed. While Ranger headed into the bathroom for a quick shower, I searched through the closet for an outfit to wear to Pino's. By the time Ranger came out fully dressed, I was wearing a little blue dress that made the most of my figure and a pair of 5" blue FMP's. I had my hair tamed in large curls and had just finished putting the last layer of mascara on. Ranger took me in his arms and gave me a kiss that melted every bone in my body to a pool of liquid heat.

I pulled back to catch my breath and Ranger licked along my neck causing me to moan. "Are you sure we need to keep this reservation?"

Ranger covered my mouth with his and said, "Sorry Babe. I think we need to get going. But I'll give you a rain check for later."

I groaned but allowed him to move us towards the elevator. We headed down to the garage and he helped me into the Turbo before climbing behind the wheel. It didn't take long to reach Pino's. Ranger escorted me inside and I was surprised to see all my friends and family inside. I turned to Ranger and he gave me his full mega million dollar smile. "Happy Birthday Babe."

My eyes widened, "What's the date?"

Ranger's shoulders silently shook. "Are you telling me you didn't realize it was your birthday?"

I blushed. "I had no idea today was the 12th of October."

Ranger kissed my cheek. "You never disappoint Babe."

We had a lovely meal with everyone stopping by periodically to wish me a happy birthday. A few of the guys made reference to easy skips today and I started to get a sneaking suspicion. When Lula walked in with Connie and Mooner they came right over to me. Lula's eyes were huge as she asked me, "White girl, do you know how much money you made today?"

I shrugged, "I didn't give it a thought. I just deposited the checks from this morning and planned to pick up the two from the afternoon tomorrow."

Connie popped a bubble, "I gotta a call for you while you were out this afternoon. The bank called and wants you to stop by and tell them what to do with all the money."

I frowned, "What money."

Lula snorted, "You remember that FBI guy you took to the pokey?"

I nodded. Lula went on, "The reward was a million dollars!"

My eyes widened in stunned surprise. I fished the deposit slip out of my purse and sure enough. I had over 1 million dollars in my checking account. I turned to Ranger, "What am I going to do?"

Ranger winked before replying, "I'll have my lawyer meet with you in the morning Babe."

I nodded, still not able to take it all in. When the birthday cake came out and everyone sang to me I sighed and smiled. "This has been the best birthday ever." I sent a look to Ranger and said, "The only thing that could make it better is if you got messy for a change."

Ranger's eyes narrowed and he gave an almost smile, "Sorry Babe. Not going to happen."

My eyes widened as I saw Tank, Bobby and Lester coming up behind Ranger with their fingers to their lips. They each had cream pies in their hands and were taking aim at Ranger. At the last possible second Ranger moved taking out Les first and snatching his pie to put in Tank's face and then hitting Bobby's pie so it flew in Bobby's face. Tank's pie fell landing in Les's face. All three of the guys were covered in pie and Ranger didn't have a speck on him. I smiled and shook my head. The candles were lit on the cake and the lights were turned off. My mom told me to make a wish and blow out the candles. I closed my eyes and made a wish before blowing out the candles. When the lights were turned back on I turned and my eyes widened in stunned surprise. Ranger was standing there with whipped cream all over. The look on his face promised retribution for someone. I couldn't help but laugh and take note of the fact that for once I wasn't the one covered. I saw Grandma standing at the back with a can of whipped cream. She sent me a wink and I gave her a barely perceptible nod.

Later that night when Ranger and I returned to Haywood, we stripped down and Ranger made good on is earlier promise. As I went over the edge in ecstasy I couldn't help but think this was the best birthday I'd ever had.


End file.
